...On RELATIONSHIPS
What is a "relationship"?
In a nutshell, a "relationship" is the manner in which two or more entities (in this case, "people") interact with, affect, and are affected by one another in their efforts toward survival.
The nature of a given relationship is the product of several factors, among them:
1) the Essential Nature of the Human Being.
2) the experience* that each person brings to the relationship, which shapes each person's view of reality and expectations for the relationship.
3) the timing of the relationship, in terms of "readiness".
4) the circumstances under which the relationship was formed, and under which it is to continue; which includes "purpose".
(* "experience" in the broadest possible sense of the word.)
All of us are in some type of relationship; and of course, the most important, most special relationship each of us is in... is our relationship with our Creator -- the One Who Called each of us into existence to serve His Divine Purpose, which is the root of our Divine Purpose. Consequently, the "success" of our interpersonal relationships depends entirely upon the quality of our Divine Relationship with the Creator.
Some relationships are healthy (pro-survival) for one or all parties involved, while others are unhealthy (anti-survival) for one or all parties involved; but in order to understand and effectively manage any relationship, the above factors must be studied and understood. Any relationship wherein these factors are not carefully considered and calculated upon will no doubt become a more dysfunctional, more unhealthy relationship.
The most productive relationships are those wherein honest communication brings about...
...a clear understanding of the Purpose of the relationship,
...a clear understanding of what is required to maintain the productivity of the relationship,
...productive action toward the goal of the relationship, and...
...a strong willingness to be IN the relationship...for all involved.
Where there is no honest, relevant communication, there can be no clear understanding of the Purpose for the relationship, and confusion will soon lead to dysfunction, which often leads to the loss of Purpose and the "death" of the relationship (every relationship must have a Purpose); neither can there be a clear understanding of what is required to maintain the productivity of the relationship. Both circumstances, of course, can drastically minimize any existing willingness to be IN the relationship.
Each person in a relationship has a natural need -- and therefore, a natural RIGHT -- to know...
...why he or she is in the relationship,
...what is rightfully expected of him or her from others in the relationship, and
...what he or she has a right to expect from others in the relationship;
...and each has a right to decide for himself/herself whether or not he or she wants to be in the relationship. However, each must have a healthy regard for the value of preserving the relationship, as well as the consequences of aborting the relationship.
Healthy, lasting relationships are necessary to our well-being. Therefore, each person in a relationship has a natural right (and responsibility) to point out any need for improvement of the relationship, and to contribute (not "force") toward such improvement, if agreed that it is needed.
Whereever these needs and rights are ignored, overlooked or suppressed in a relationship, such a relationship can only become toxic for those involved...and sometimes, for those involved with "those involved". So it's important to take great care in protecting the needs and rights of ourselves and those with whom we interact, so that all may benefit from such interactions.
All of us have a right to be genuinely satisfied -- not "free from difficulty" -- in the relationships of our choosing. If we are NOT satisfied, there is something we can do about it. "WHAT" to do...is up to YOU...and ME.
God Bless!
